Clearly a superior
side, why did Italy need to go to penalties to beat a tired-looking England
team? Why didn’t the pundits take them seriously before the game? And why won’t
they win the competition?
Simple. A typeface. I
mean, just look at the picture below:
Typeface translation: "Enough with the aggression already, let's hug."
What the name on the back of your shirt should be saying is: ‘I am almighty. Deal with it.’
Instead, Italy’s
typeface is saying: ‘Er, excuse me, but don’t you think the groundsmen have
done a lovely job of cutting nice broad stripes into the grass? Oh, you’d like
the ball?’
(And when your players are called stuff like 'Donucci' it really is important to put some kind of aggressive spin on them.)
So instead of running
around feeling intimidated like they usually do in quarterfinals, the England
team actually made a really brave attempt to not lose. Which crumbled when they
got to the final penalty shootout, where shirt backs don’t really come into
play.
Now can you imagine
how seriously the Germans are going to take that typeface? Bar an emergency font rethink, it’s all over for Italy.
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